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Saturday, May 18, 2024, 5:49:30 PM- WOW!
I watched the season finale of the t.v. show 'Blue Bloods' last night

At the end of the show, the family was sitting around the dining room table.

One of the characters had just had his fifth wedding anniversary.

The topic became about what you give your spouse as an anniversary present on your fifth anniversary.

It was revealed that according to tradition, on your fifth anniversary you give a present of wood.

The eldest child then asked her little brother if he had given his bride some wood for her anniversary,

and also if he had given her the wood good.

Everyone around the table,

from the oldest (a senior citizen) to the youngest (a college freshman) laughed and laughed.

You can't beat good quality family programming.

~
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Friday, May 17, 2024, 7:20:40 PM- Legacy
If I am remembered after I'm long gone from this earth,

I'd like to be remembered as a nice guy.

Someone who didn't hurt, only helped people.

~
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Thursday, May 16, 2024, 6:40:22 PM- Theory
I have a theory for why you forget what is was you were going to do when you walked into another room.

You surprised an alien,

who then wiped your memory so that it could escape.

~
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"Well now it all makes sense."
- MitchandDaisy


Wednesday, May 15, 2024, 6:41:39 PM- Good times
I played golf yesterday and shot a 93.

Maybe next time I'll play more than one hole.

~
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Tuesday, May 14, 2024, 6:02:45 PM- Better living through science
Every four years I truly appreciate the fast forward button on my t.v. remote control.

I call it

'Politics Begone'.

~
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Monday, May 13, 2024, 7:08:27 PM- Lost dreams
1. Someone kept telling me I was 48 grams short.

Short of what???

2. I'm making a couple of big ham & cheese sandwiches.

I have everything I need -

thick slices of ham,

french bread,

mustard and mayo,

swiss cheese,

tomatoes,

but I'm out of lettuce!

Double bummer, man.

~
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Sunday, May 12, 2024, 5:30:32 PM- (sighs)
There's nothing quite like that feeling you get when you crave

a bologna sandwich (with mustard)

a moon pie

and a glass bottle of Coca Cola,

then realize you don't have them on hand...

because you gave them up for your health long ago.

~
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Saturday, May 11, 2024, 6:37:29 PM- Shame, shame, shame
The second Saturday in May is when the USPS takes donations for the needy.

They leave an empty bag in your mailbox in case you want to give non perishable foods.

I filled the bag on Friday evening and hung it on my mailbox.

Saturday morning I looked out my window and saw that it was gone.

I at least hope the person who took it needed the food.

sad

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Friday, May 10, 2024, 6:21:25 PM- Class time
The teacher asked her young students:

"What does the chicken give us?"

"Meat!" said one student.

"Very good!" the teacher replied.

The teacher next asked: "What does the pig give us?"

"Bacon!" said another child.

"And what does the big fat cow give us?" the teacher asked.

"Homework!" said a bored student in the back of the room.

~
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Thursday, May 9, 2024, 7:21:52 PM- A course of action
I suggest a course of action for those having to deal with someone who is ranting,

usually about politics or religion:

Walk away.

You wouldn't want to be blamed as the cause of their heart attack or stroke - would you?

~
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